About Me Childhood Poisonings: Surveillance and Information Webpage

This page was created as part of a project for Epidemiology 414 at the University of California, Los Angeles. At UCLA, I am currently a Master's of Public Health candidate in the Department of Community Health Sciences.

According to my very creative friend Justin, this is my story:

I have vast experience with the ways of the world. My life began 1 score and 4 years ago in a small vegetable patch outside of Modesto, CA. I was born in between the carrots and the bell peppers, to the left of a large cow pie. My place was among the vegetables had profound influence on my early life. When I was 7 years old, I single-handedly built a heavy water fission reactor using cauliflower and a Black and Decker toaster oven. Later on, I saved a bus load of small children (who were bigger than myself) from a band of wandering pirates using 27 zuchinnis and a tub of vaseline purchased at Costco. I was awarded the Purple Eggplant medal for my efforts. My accomplishments are not confined to the public sector. I have written the musical score for a 6-part trilogy that dealt with a 16th century woman's love for her sailor boyfriend. The score was written for a 17-piece chamber orchestra that is distinguished for its ability to use instruments made entirely out of pimentos.

Please click here to view my real resume.

This page was created by Jody , ©1999.